Thursday, 19 June 2008

The Elephant In The Room

This could get nasty. If any of you watch the BBC quiz program QI you may familiar with the elephant in the room - the question or issue that is staring you in the face but you can't see it. Seriously, if you don't want to know what my elephant is, leave now.

Still here? It's as simple as this - my wife has breast cancer.

Actually, she has Ductile Carcinoma In Situ, or a non-invasive form of cancer in her left breast, but it's wide spread enough that within the next couple of weeks she will face a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. Outwardly, she looks fine, but it's there - I've seen the pictures as well.

There's no history of this in her family, but her sister died a few years back of liver cancer, so the fear level is upped already. There's also the nagging fear that she could be really unlucky, and they find something malignant when they remove the breast.

So why is it the elephant in the room? Simply this - I love her more than words can say, but I probably fear what is about to happen more than her. I'll be there every step of the way with her, yet I also know that this is her fight, and sometimes I don;t know what else I can do to help her. You feel you would give anything for this not to happen, but it's going to and dealing with it is hard on both of us.

If you're reading this, and you've been through a similar thing, this may or may not strike a chord. At any rate, remember us, and I'll use this as way of noting my thoughts through the weeks ahead. If I shout and swear, forgive me.


Rob S. said...

Good luck, and good health, to both of you. One of my friends had breast cancer and blogged her journey through her diagnosis and treatment to her recovery. Her blog is "Living it Up in the Sixth Borough" on my blogroll. Her experience is certainly more relevant than anything I can say, other than that I'll keep your wife (and you) in my thoughts, CV. I'm sure you'll find just the right way to support her, even if you feel clumsy and awkward about it at times.

Radiodad said...

CV, I think that the best and most important thing you can do right now is to be there when she needs you. I'm certain you're doing that already.

I've had plenty of opportunites in my recent history to be afraid of what's to come. I've doubted sometimes if God was there with me. But he was there through my trials, even when I was most afraid and most alone. He'll be there for you too.

You and your wife will be in my prayers.

Jeff said...

While I can't relate to a wife having cancer, as know my mom, my grandfather, and a student have all been through this. My mom came through her breast cancer and thrived. She is now a two-time cancer survivor (it was in her lungs this last time).

You can only be there for her and try to be strong through this. I realize these are dark times, but when it's all over, you'll forget about all the bad. It all goes away. I pray for you all to keep on surviving, and that God will give you the strength to make it the whole way.

Howard Bagby said...

Mike, my prayers are for you and your family. You know my story with my wife. While you have the chance enjoy everything. If you need to talk, please don't hesitate to contact me. I will do whatever I can. Keep the faith and show your love. I am with you, brother.