The Elephant Looms Larger

and the knot in the pit of the stomach gets bigger.

Doreen had a call today from her nurse - the date for her operation has been set for 15th July. Before that takes place, however, she needs to have a preliminary biopsy of her lymph nodes to ensure that the cancer had not become invasive.

This is our biggest fear - that because of the delays in getting tests done and co-ordinating calendars for consultants, the bloody thing has changed its character and began to spread out. If all is clear, then the operation proceeds as planned. If not, then we have the prospect of further treatment and possible delays to any reconstructive surgery.

Having that date fixed in my mind, however, has perversely removed one of my huge fears. For whatever reason, I am one of those people who work best with fixed deadlines and targets. Doreen isn't, but I am - one of those opposites attract things. Knowing when something is going to happen makes it easier to deal with than the big "How long is it going to be" and the unknown nature of such a statement.

A friend of mine put it best - Just take each day for now as it comes. Thank you for letting me share each of these days with you.